Beautiful Melancholy
There was a time
When I felt so special
I felt so needed
Felt so loved
But it was all a lie
And in the end
I was always left
Alone
Yup. So right now I feel...........I feel like my life has changed rather slowly, so that I didn't realize it wasn't the same until it was unrecognizable. Augh! I feel like I hardly know half the people in my life anymore. I've been so intensely busy, just working and being in a serious relationship, that they have both become the focal points of my life. And now school, the ultimate centre of my life, starts again, and I simply don't see an end to the chaos anytime soon. Does that mean the end of my teenhood, or maybe the beginning of my adulthood ?
I just feel like I've grown out of so much. My short lived bar life.........just doesn't interest me anymore. I just feel like it's time for work and school and my boyfriend and my good friends and my passions, and the rest is just fluff. And to be honest, I'm more comfortable that way. I've come to the conclusion that I need more time to myself. I get next to none right now, and now I'm used to putting everythng aside until later. And...I don't want to do it anymore. I'm really excited for school to start, and to get back into that sort of life. But if just makes me feel like the life I knew has lost its meaning with me... and that I'm growing away from those people that were such a centre in that life. And there are some people that I don't want to do that with. But how can I balance it ? It's been impossible this summer. I know they dont really understand how much relationships can take over your life. Not in a bad way , necessarly. But it becomes different. Suddenly, your friends are on the sidelines a little bit while you're trying to work out the relationship and figure out how it's going to work. And time is passing while I'm so absorbed in this other life. And people are changing. I am afraid I'm not going to recognize any of my previous life within another few months. That's all for now.
When I felt so special
I felt so needed
Felt so loved
But it was all a lie
And in the end
I was always left
Alone
Yup. So right now I feel...........I feel like my life has changed rather slowly, so that I didn't realize it wasn't the same until it was unrecognizable. Augh! I feel like I hardly know half the people in my life anymore. I've been so intensely busy, just working and being in a serious relationship, that they have both become the focal points of my life. And now school, the ultimate centre of my life, starts again, and I simply don't see an end to the chaos anytime soon. Does that mean the end of my teenhood, or maybe the beginning of my adulthood ?
I just feel like I've grown out of so much. My short lived bar life.........just doesn't interest me anymore. I just feel like it's time for work and school and my boyfriend and my good friends and my passions, and the rest is just fluff. And to be honest, I'm more comfortable that way. I've come to the conclusion that I need more time to myself. I get next to none right now, and now I'm used to putting everythng aside until later. And...I don't want to do it anymore. I'm really excited for school to start, and to get back into that sort of life. But if just makes me feel like the life I knew has lost its meaning with me... and that I'm growing away from those people that were such a centre in that life. And there are some people that I don't want to do that with. But how can I balance it ? It's been impossible this summer. I know they dont really understand how much relationships can take over your life. Not in a bad way , necessarly. But it becomes different. Suddenly, your friends are on the sidelines a little bit while you're trying to work out the relationship and figure out how it's going to work. And time is passing while I'm so absorbed in this other life. And people are changing. I am afraid I'm not going to recognize any of my previous life within another few months. That's all for now.
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